Soft Ethics for a Loud World Chp I
Soft Ethics for a Loud World
1. If someone is saying “I’m
sorry,” accept it with grace. Don’t argue who’s right. Sometimes peace is holier
than proof.
2. If someone is standing before you,
acknowledge them, especially if they are younger. Respect doesn’t need an
audience, only a gesture.
3. If someone is saying they need advice,
give it with sincerity, but don’t bind them to it. Guidance is not control.
4. If someone is saying they find joy in
something, let your heart respond with a quiet prayer. Not every emotion needs
a comment.
5. If someone says they got a job, say
“Mubarak ho.” Please don’t ask how much they’re earning or who helped them.
Their joy is not your inquiry.
6. If someone is saying it’s their
birthday, celebrate. Don’t chase their age with questions. Let joy be
unmeasured.
7. If someone is saying they are preparing
for an exam, say a prayer, don’t wait to critique their result.
8. If someone is saying they’re happy,
pray it lasts. Don’t dissect it with doubts.
9. If someone is saying something
private, seal it in silence. If Allah veils them, who are you to unveil?
10. If someone is saying they’re getting
married or in a relationship, listen only as much as they wish to share. Don’t
pry into their in-laws or plans. Respect their boundaries, not just their bond.
11. If someone is saying less, don’t
push for more. People open when they feel safe, not when pressured.
12. If someone is showing their
weakness, remember your own. Yours may just be better hidden.
13. If someone is saying they are
struggling, don’t interrupt with your story. Sometimes, all they need is to be
heard.
14. If someone is saying something about
their life, don’t compare it with yours. Your story wasn’t meant to match
theirs.
15. If someone is joking with you, don’t
let your laughter belittle them. Some wounds are deep beneath smiles.
16. If someone once said something in
trust, honor it forever, even after they leave.
17. If someone is silent after a
misunderstanding, don’t wait in pride. Speak. Hearts respond to voices, not
assumptions.
18. If someone says “thank you,” receive
it. And if they’re not, say it for them. Gratitude is not owed, it’s chosen.
19. If someone is saying they’re fine
but you sense pain, don’t press. Be gentle. Everyone’s storm sounds different.
20. If someone is saying they feel broken,
don’t correct them then and there, just sit with them. Presence is the softest
healer.
21. If someone is confronting you
personally, don’t weaponize your title. Power is never for revenge.
22. If someone is saying something in
silence, protect it. You’re not being tested to expose, but to hold space.
23. If someone is wearing something
beautiful, don’t say, “Nice dress.” Say, “It looks beautiful on you,” or “You
carry it with such grace.” Let your compliment touch the person, not just the
object.
24. If someone is grieving and says
nothing at all, be there anyway. Grief doesn’t need a timeline, only presence.
25. If someone says they were hurt by
your words, don’t justify. Apologize sincerely, humbly.
26. If someone is saying they’re
inviting you to their joy, go if you can. Even a cup of tea shared is a gesture
of belonging.
27. If someone is sitting in a group
with you, don’t isolate them by private whispers. Inclusion is silent respect.
28. If someone is at the table with you,
let your manners speak. Don’t disturb the blessing with noise or fuss.
29. If someone is sad or withdrawn,
don’t investigate in front of others. And if something offends you, resolve it
privately. Not all pain belongs in public ears.
30. If someone is saying they need help,
help them kindly. Don’t throw your knowledge upon them. Correct with care, not
condescension. Help is a service, not a show.
31. If someone is calling or telling you
about their marriage and relationship, listen to the extent they want to tell
you, don’t dig into their in-laws and love life.
32. If someone is trusting you with
their silence or struggle, honor that. You’re not being tested to expose them.
You’re being trusted to hold space.
(To be Continued)
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